An Open Letter to Mall shoppers

or shoppers in general,

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen (these terms are used, in some cases, the loosest sense of the word)

Thank you for coming into my store. I really hope you found everything you were looking for. I have a few things to say. Please don't treat the people who work in this store - or any other for that matter - like we are less than you. We're not. We are wives, mothers, daughters and friends some of us are students, others teachers all of us are working for whatever reason (I'm working for private school tuition for my oldest child. We just happen to work in a mall store.

When I greet you, it's because they pay me to. I get paid to stand there and greet you - please be polite and return my greeting - if our roles were reversed I'd do the same for you.

Put down your cell phone. I mean really, your life is so friggin important that you can't walk through a store without a piece of plastic attached to your head? If you feel you MUST talk on your phone, don't complain that no one would help you find the Japanese Cherry Blossom body cream you need and you had to look for 45 minutes - all the time flapping your lips on the phone - talking about how badly you're being treated in this store. And do not even have a fit because it took you five minutes to pay for your crap because you were still ON THE PHONE and had to be asked six times to verify the charge amount.

They pay us to ask you if you need help. They want us to ask you over and over and over.

If you have children please control them in the store. Yes the shelves are glass and yes they will break if your eight year old repeatedly runs her four year old sister and the stroller into them multiple times. Also, we have enough work to do without watching your spawn fight with each other and beat the tar out of each other with rubber ducks. Keep your kids in check, it's called parenting. If they cannot behave in public, don't bring them until you teach them to behave themselves.

Please do not let your baby or toddler scream all the way through your 30 minute body lotion search. I mean really? A child that upset does not need to shop. Attend his or her needs - I promise the body cream that you can't remember the name of but was pink, will still be there when your child has been fed, changed and rested.

We have no say in scents being discontinued. No really we don't. I am sorry it was your favorite but things and change - life goes on. Last year's Fresia is this year's whatever.

I am sorry you had a perfume emergency at 8:45 PM and you can't possibly go to school smelling like sweet pea when everyone else is wearing something else. We have to close our gates at 9 PM. The mall is not 7-11. Come back when we open the next day, the scent you want but don't know what it is will still be there. Don't threaten to call customer care because I told you we were indeed closed, there is never a perfume emergency - really.

Thank You,
Methusula Honeysuckle

A first day Overview

Tommy learned that fourth grade is not like kindergarten. While the teacher was glad he was there, she expected him to get straight to work. Then there was homework. Tommy was the only kid who had homework. The other two did not. Tommy was not amused and grumbled about how much harder he had it than his other two brothers.

We learned the junior high has idiots for counselors. They lost his course selection guide and his AP permission stuff somewhere. We know - at some point in time they had it - because a course change sheet was sent home by MAILm if I wanted my child in Pre-AP Physical Science instead of the course (AP Biology I in his case) he was selected for. Now they can't understand why we are livid with him not being in these classes - well DUH. We are letting eric deal with this because we all know if I have to get involved - it's not going to be nice. We are impressed with his art class. They are going to talk about art history, the concepts behind making art and they'll learn the principles of sketching. I am even more impressed with the art fee. I send in money. The school purchases stuff in bulk. I don't have to look 851 places for art supplies.

After he gets his AP classes fixed he'll be taking five classes for high school credit.

Joey made a robot with hair- he brought it home because the teacher put a star sticker on it. Lunch was way to early and he needed a nap after recess. Half the kids fell asleep during rest time.




I straightened the dining room and broke the vaccum (eric fixed it for me) today is the hall bath and computer area.

All's Quiet on the Western Front

It's quiet here. No one has told me to turn down my iTunes because they couldn't hear.

No one is watching PBS kid's programing

No one is FIGHTING or whining or protesting some gross injustice of sibling rivalry.

It's quiet.

Almost too quiet.

The First Day

and we were off - up and running - errrrrrr stumbling by 6:30 this morning. Joey was so excited to actually go to real school, where the teacher is a boy - just like him - that he didn't fall asleep til midnight.

Tommy was not amused. He walked into his classroom and was told his first assignment was on the overhead. No "welcome to fourth grade, we're happy to have you." This year they gave him a teacher who means busineess and is not a pushover backless pansy like he had the past four years. She'll be good for him.

It looks like the crackwhores are in charge again this year. we couldn't got back to the classrooms until 7:40 AM so we had to hold all our supplies and wait. This year they also divided where the kids wait to go to the classrooms. Some one in the braintrust decided the kindergarten kids needed no adult supervision.

We shall see how this works out.

The Countdown is ON

In 4 days school will be OPEN. My children will be back in school. All of them

School clothes are cleaned or soon will be.

Supplies are purchased and ready to be sorted into backpacks.

AP summer projects are in the process of being done.

This time four days from now my living room and dining room will be cleaned and they should STAY that way. The idea that a room could be clened and clutter free for a full morning and afternoon, well that's been a novel concept for me.

Tired

I am tired.

I am tired of the crazy that keeps infiltrating my women's group. I mean really - 8 years and 4 crazies. I have born the brunt of them all to some extent.

I am tired of people quitting just because things didn't go their way. No one gets their way all of the time - that's life. If I had my way I'd weigh 125 pounds and have a sculpted shapely body without ever having to step foot in hell errrrr the gym. If I quit something just because I didn't get my way - well I'd not be here - but that's life some days your the windshield and somedays your the bug.

I am tired of seeing supposed Christian women trat each other this way.

I am tired of people criticizing every decision I make because you know they had a chance to elect some one else - and they didn't do it. If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem and if you refuse to step up sit down and shut the hell up and don't friggin bitch.

Looking Back but Do I Want to Look Ahead?

Today, I was at Wal Mart picking up a few back to school supplies. My friend looked at the school stuff, neatly arranged in bins by price was waiting for my cart. My friend looked at her not yet two year old daughter and told her that she didn't want to have a child old enough for rulrs and note book paper and colored pencils. I thought about my 13 year old notaboybutnotaman at home, loading the dishwasher and said I can't imagine having a child old enough for dorm room supplies.

In five years I will be buying those things and packing my child up to send off to college.

Like college - away from me

Where I won't see him every day.

where he won't be able to tell me his corny made up jokes

or reguile us with what he learned that day.

Change in the Air?

It's time for school to start.

It's not the back to school ads or the cheap school supplies at walMart that tell me this - it's the attitudes of my children.

They are being bratty and snotty because they are bored.

It's too hot by 10 AM to go to the pool and the mall has lost it's allure. The video store is picked clean and honestly, I have to watch one more episode of a child aged program I'll go off on some one - so it is time for school to stzart.

Next week, we'll begin our school week

Things that try a pregnant woman's soul

or appetite.

Since Eric is sleeping at church with the campers so they re all on time for tomorrow's 6 AM departure, I decided to NOt cook. I ordered pizza from pizzahut.com.

My boycot of pizzahut for super slow delivery times and updates in their online ordering system have deleted my old user name.

It took me three log in attempts before they told me my acoount no longer existed. It took me 30 minutes to order the darn pizza and wings. I'm hungry - I want easy.

So I finally get my order entered and then it came time to recreate my account. This exercise in futility would be good for teaching your preschooler his address because oyvey - this wasn't right, that wasn't right and then this was incorrect and finally my user name was taken (uh yeah I took it two years ago)

each change resulted in me having to fill out the dadburned form all over again.

Futility.

Finally - just as we get to the end a little pop up add appears - would I like to order apple pies .

Dude - I've been trying to order food for 30 minutes you bet your sweet bippy I want apple pie.

It should be here at 6:57.

After 6 PM and

He's out the door.

his trunk is packed and he's on his way.

He wasn't worried but I almost killed him.

Almost four o'clock

and now the trunk now holds a deflated beach ball, a hammock, a package of AAA batteries, the pair of water shoes, a book, his mess kit, and his cot.

We still don't have any clothes packed. They are still are in the dryer.

Thirteen going in three

The oldest kid is getting ready to go to summer camp. He leaves tonight and as of this instant, his trunk is empty - save a pair of hiking boots and one water shoe.

He leaves at 6PM.

The child is going to Colorado - so it's not like we can just drive up with what he needs. It's not like this is his first year at summer camp either - he KNOWS he needs to be packed.

As of right now he has three shirts, enough pants and his swimwear. He has one pair of socks and one pair of underwear.
I pity the person he tents with - that's gonna be stinky

"But mom I can wear my swimsuit one day"

"No child you are going to the MOUNTAINS in COLORADO - the high is our LOW - this time of year, it is going to be in the low 40's at night you are not going to walk around in your swim trunks."

"but mom"

Summer Days - Drifting Away

Sad but true, we are in the middle of summer vacation. Before we know it kids will be back in school. The sun will dip into the sky a little earlier each night and we'll return to our hustle and bustle of activities.



This summer has been slow for us. We've been lazy and, with the exception of the weekly movie at AMC's summer movie camp, we've not gone much.



We've been to the pool numerous times and celebrated the fourth of July Charles' birthday - but not much else has happened. And we like it. We are enjoying the slower pace.

I'm Wordle

What a difference a number makes

When it comes to children how many is too many and who gets to determine that?

we are expecting - a newly conceived fourth child. A child that is wanted and will be well loved. Most people are happy for us but there have been a few- "y'all have too many kids" and "don't you guys know what causes that."

I have heard from my friends who have more children than we do - that this is common and that it does hurt to hear. Indeed it does. We are not stupid nor are we living in abject poverty. we don't drink or smoke or use crack. We raise our children with the idea that THEY are our responsibility and we are responsible for their development.

One hundred years ago - four children was almost a small family. But as families become smaller and smaller - four is A lot.

I guess miscarriages have softened me. But I see every child as a blessing - a gift from God.

Some things MeMe

SOME THINGS MEME

What Was I Doing 10 Years Ago?

July 1998.....I was living in New Mexico and had just found out we were expecting Tommy. (funny how were expecting again due the same day)

5 Things On My To-Do List Today
1. Mop the kitchen and bathroom floors
2. Clean the bathrooms
3. Finish up my invitations
4. fertilize the back yard
5. water the front yard


5 Snacks I Enjoy

1. Dark chocolate
2. Pickles
3. Bean and cheese nachoes
4. Chips and salsa
5. pretzels

5 Things I Would Do If I Were A Billionaire
1. Buy a house in the Hill Country and raise peaches
2. Move my parents out by me
3. Be totally debt free
4. Go to Europe first class
5. Set up a scholarship fund

5 Places I Have Lived
1. New Mexico
2. Weisbaden Germany
3 Arkansas
4 san Antonio
5. Here

Blink

It seems to me that you were just a wee baby the last time I looked - your tiny hands were tightly clenched to my fingers and you were brand new. Together, you and I set off on a journey - that of mother and child. We learned together you and I. Ilearned to be a parent. I learned to be YOUr parent. You learned to walk and talk and laugh and play - you developed an imagination. Oh how you developed an imagination. Then I blinked.

You were in kindergarten. Your little legs could barely reach the bottom step off the bus. Your backpack dragged the ground and you were gone - with barely a wave and look back at me waiting on the curb. You learned to read and write and made friends. I learned it was okay to let you go. Together we learned how to make a darn good Pinewood Derby Car. Then I blinked

Now you are 13 - almost taller than me. Your voice deepens with each word you speak. You look more like a man and less like a child. You've learned about responsibility and have had to make some tough decisions. I've learned to let you make your mistakes and if I wait - patiently you will come to me when you need me.

I am afraid to blink.

You Know What I Miss?

I miss toilet paper dispensers in bathroom stalls that let you get more than ONE square of of toilet paper.

Today, the kids and I went to the movies to see AMC Summers Kids Camp Movies. They show an older movie and charge $1. Being an experienced mother I KNOW - from experience that kids always HAvE to go usually at the moment the movie peaks - their need to go NOw is equally proportionate to the swell of music and upswing in drama. I make the boys go to the bathroom just before the movie starts.

Today, I took Joey one last time before the movie started and the dispenser in the stall had toilet ppar - a whole big roll of not cheapy thin toilet paper but it dispensed ONE sheet at a time. There was a sign next to the dispenser saying that it would spill out what was environmentally needed to do the job. Um yeah - unless oompa loompas or Cheryl Crow are doing "the job" trust me -one sheet is not enough.

I am not saying one needs half a roll to do the "job" but we certainly need more than one sheet.

We did discover though that if you fold the sheet up and wave your hand by the sensor you can get it tospit out a few more sheets.

In our search for a greener world we've gone a little overboard I think. I'd rather wipe my butt and have it clean than smell like poo.

The Last day of spring

The Last Day of 12

Thirteen years ago right now, I was not a mother. I was waiting to be a mother, counting down the minutes to my induction. Thirteen years ago he was still inside me, dependant on me for everything. Thirteen years ago has come and gone in the blink of an eye.



Today, he is almost grown. In a few months he'll be taller than I am He has his own tastes in music and clothing and room decor. It's funny hear him talk about his own political thoughts (rest assured they are elephantine rather than equine patootie in nature)

Today he is still a boy - not yet a man.