Monday, December 20, 2010

It Ought to be a Crime

There are certain things that ought to be outlawed this time of year.

Postal carriers that can't read addresses is one.

Cranky people at the supermarket is another - really little girl in the too small Cowboy's jersey. I spend a horrendous amount at Market Street - give me the coupon I left at home so I can pay your salary.

People who take up not one, not two but THREE parking spots at the mall is another. Really you have a Prius. It's a maroon lunchbox on wheels it does not need three spots in front of Nordstrom's.

The final thing that needs to be outlawed are Slimfast commercials a week before Christmas. Anybody selling a diet aid the week before Christmas needs to be rounded up and sent to Gitmo to live until the rest of us have finished sipping the egg nog, eating the sugar cookies with butter cream frosting and sprinkles, eating candy canes and pouring gravy on anything that sits still.

Slimfast commercials, dexatrim mailers and email invitations to join the gym is just one more reminder that my butt is getting bigger, my pants tighter and the fat is clogging my arteries. Let's face it, the only exercise I'm getting these days is walking in a circle around the kitchen for yet one more egg and two more cups of flour.