Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Difference Between Men and Women

can be easily summed up in a TV commercial.

This morning while I was getting dressed, a commercial came on in the middle of the News at 9. The commercial asked me if I had a major issue finding space for my shoes.

Why yes, yes indeed I DO - it is a problem that weighs heavy on my heart.

The man in the commercial continued on - asking if I had ever had to decide which shoes to keep so I could by more.

This made me shudder at the thought of throwing one of my pretty precious pairs of shoes AWAY. I'd sell one of my children - well, not the girl, before I parted with a pair of shoes. But I saw the man's point - my shoe stacker thing is full and there is a mountain on the closet floor and another pile by the front door and some in the garage. I have a lot of shoes.

He asked if I was looking for a solution to my problem -

Indeed - I consider this problem right up there with national security, pig flu and the economy.

He then went on to convince me I NEEDED to call this magic number that flashed at the bottom of the screen.

I called that magic number and arranged for my very own closet design specialist to call. In less than two weeks and for a small some of cash - my shoes could all have a happy home off the floor with room for more.

Then I called my husband.

He laughed.

Not a hah ha funny laugh - but a humor-me-but-not-on your-shoe loving-life laugh.

So I called my mother.

She agreed with me.

Not because I was her daughter and she takes my side in such discussions. She agreed with me because I am the apple to her tree in the orchard of needing shoes. she convinced my father - who was the only man among three women for many many years - until mysister left home. Since we are a shoe loving group of women he built my mother a shoe caddy.

So I called my husband again - in an attempt to convince him Lowe's could solve all my problems.

He told me he had things to do.

This is the difference between men and women. Women need shoes and pretty things - men - well not so much.

Now, I am going to be forced to do something dirty and underhanded. I am going to teach the Princess Madaleine to say "Daddy" and use her evil daughter mind control over her daddy powers to get my shoe caddy. Because really - pretty shoes are a terrible thing to waste.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Okay, So how does a chicken place RUN out of Chicken?

Sunday, on the way home from work I decided to stop by KFC for dinner for myself, since Eric was out of town and I was sure the kids (meaning Charles) didn't save me anything.

So my friend Angela and I swing through KFC/Long John Silvers.

When we noticed the long line behind the order box and no one actually pulling through to the pick up window that should have been a clue that something was afoot at the KFC.

But, no.

We're both Blonde.

We're a little slow and we just got off of work and we were both hungry moms and - that (Okay a digression who is the new guy hosting Millionaire - what happened to Meredith?). - that erases any error in judgement we may have made.

We get to the order window and we tell the guy that we had TWO separate orders.

I make my order. I wanted the two piece meal with mashed potatoes and cole slaw.

He asks me if I wanted grilled or fried.

I told him I wanted fried.

(okay another digression - who is Billy Bush?)

He repeats my order back to me - a two piece grilled meal

I tell him no, I wanted fried - both dark meat.

He repeats the order back to me - a two piece white grilled meal

I repeat myself again.

This battle of wills goes on for two minutes.

He finally asks me to tell him what picture I ama looking at on the menu.

We tell him - in unison.

Then he asks me what two sides I wanted.

How my head didn't explode I don't know.

He tells me how much my order will be.

By this time, we've been at the order window for five minutes

Angela hadn't ordered yet.

She need food fer her whole family.

It wasn't good.

Green beans and fries don't sound in anyway similar.

They do not.

She wanted chicken and not fish.

She needed two orders of mashed potatoes and one order of coleslaw.

This shouldn't have been hard. It's chicken, potatoes and coleslaw.

It was.

Then he rings the order together.

We get that undone and we finally move up to pick up the order.

My order comes out. I pay for it and he shuts the window.

So we wait.

And then we wait

and we wait some more.

He opens the wndow and asks if we forgot anything

Um - YEAH the rest of the food.

He hands us a bag and we ask if this is everything.

We should have checked.

Apparently my friend Danielle's husband was behind us

they didn't get chicken

because KFC ran out of chicken?

How can KFC run out of chicken?

Monday, April 27, 2009

It's Monday, WHy is it ALWAYS Monday?

If I where a week day I wouldn't want to be Monday.

Everybody hates Monday - it follows Sunday - the day of rest.

It is the sharp jolt to end the weekend.

I woke up this morning with my human alarm clock and the first thing that crept into my mind, after I made sure she was happy was "Oh Crap it's Monday...WHY is it ALWAYS Monday?"

Then I realized the sound above my head was not the dog running around upstairs, nor was it my boys stomping around getting ready to start the school week. No, it was thunder. All I really wanted to do was go back to sleep.

I think if I were a weekday, I'd want to be Thursday. Thursday is a a day of anticipation. It's a day of promise. The weekend isn't quite upon us. Thursday hold the promise of great and wonderful adventures. Thursday hold the promise of dinner with friends, road trips to the beach, or just lazing around with a good book and a glass of wine.

yes, I want to be Thursday.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Okay, So I joined Facebook

So I joined Facebook to reconnect with old friends. It has been a blast, a walk down memory lane. I found a girl I have been friends with since second grade. We lost touch after we got married and moved with our respective husbands. Now, we have children that are the same age we were when we met and older.

It's funny to see the progression of life, the circle if you will. We are planning our 20 year reunion. Some of us have children starting or are already in high school. The years that were the best of our lives back in the day are memories captured in pictures.

For my boys, there is proof that their mom was young and hip for the day and thin, very very thin. There is proof that I was more than the kill joy that reminds them to do their homework, nags at them to wash their hair and bathe and insists that their rooms need to be cleaned. I was once young and a lot of fun.

Friday, April 24, 2009

This Place is a Zoo!

Of course it was because it was an actual zoo.

I don't know what I expected going on a school sponsored filed trip - it's not like this district is run by people that have a sense. But still Eric and I went on the kindergarten class field trip to the Fort Worth Zoo ( the Dallas Zoo is better I thought).

We were SUPPOSED to leave at 9 AM - we didn't and then the busses too the backasswards way of going - you know opposite of the way the school secretary handed out. The the new bus driver was in the middle and went 55 down the I-35. Needless to say, the trip took longer than expected. This week is school week at the zoo so traffic getting into the zoo was lined up for miles. We had to park in the grass. Then we had to eat.

That being said, we had an hour and fifteen minutes to see the zoo. There were no bears. We were disappointed in the trip.

And really - if I treated my customers the way the zoo customer service people behaved - I'd get fired.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Battle of Wills

- a battle that I fear will soon become a bloody war.

Charles is in the middle of puberty - one look at the hair growing under his lip is obvious and Tommy is on the cusp. Everything is a fight between these two I'm afraid.

Last night, after we finished dinner, the boys were cleaning up. A fight ensued over who was going to put their stuff in the fridge. Lettuce went flying and a bottle of barbeque sauce was thrown. Names were called - all over who was going to put their lettuce away first.

Really guys - it's LETTUCE. There is no need to fight. The vegetable bin can hold everything you need to put iin it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009