Blink

It seems to me that you were just a wee baby the last time I looked - your tiny hands were tightly clenched to my fingers and you were brand new. Together, you and I set off on a journey - that of mother and child. We learned together you and I. Ilearned to be a parent. I learned to be YOUr parent. You learned to walk and talk and laugh and play - you developed an imagination. Oh how you developed an imagination. Then I blinked.

You were in kindergarten. Your little legs could barely reach the bottom step off the bus. Your backpack dragged the ground and you were gone - with barely a wave and look back at me waiting on the curb. You learned to read and write and made friends. I learned it was okay to let you go. Together we learned how to make a darn good Pinewood Derby Car. Then I blinked

Now you are 13 - almost taller than me. Your voice deepens with each word you speak. You look more like a man and less like a child. You've learned about responsibility and have had to make some tough decisions. I've learned to let you make your mistakes and if I wait - patiently you will come to me when you need me.

I am afraid to blink.

You Know What I Miss?

I miss toilet paper dispensers in bathroom stalls that let you get more than ONE square of of toilet paper.

Today, the kids and I went to the movies to see AMC Summers Kids Camp Movies. They show an older movie and charge $1. Being an experienced mother I KNOW - from experience that kids always HAvE to go usually at the moment the movie peaks - their need to go NOw is equally proportionate to the swell of music and upswing in drama. I make the boys go to the bathroom just before the movie starts.

Today, I took Joey one last time before the movie started and the dispenser in the stall had toilet ppar - a whole big roll of not cheapy thin toilet paper but it dispensed ONE sheet at a time. There was a sign next to the dispenser saying that it would spill out what was environmentally needed to do the job. Um yeah - unless oompa loompas or Cheryl Crow are doing "the job" trust me -one sheet is not enough.

I am not saying one needs half a roll to do the "job" but we certainly need more than one sheet.

We did discover though that if you fold the sheet up and wave your hand by the sensor you can get it tospit out a few more sheets.

In our search for a greener world we've gone a little overboard I think. I'd rather wipe my butt and have it clean than smell like poo.

The Last day of spring

The Last Day of 12

Thirteen years ago right now, I was not a mother. I was waiting to be a mother, counting down the minutes to my induction. Thirteen years ago he was still inside me, dependant on me for everything. Thirteen years ago has come and gone in the blink of an eye.



Today, he is almost grown. In a few months he'll be taller than I am He has his own tastes in music and clothing and room decor. It's funny hear him talk about his own political thoughts (rest assured they are elephantine rather than equine patootie in nature)

Today he is still a boy - not yet a man.

Not even a week and it's begun

Tommy: I'm smarter than a rock

Charles: "smarter than a rock yes but smarter than a squirrel - no"

Tommy: "you have to be smart to have dyslexia"

Charles "you have to smart to have ADHD

Tommy: "So"

Charles: "and you get drugs"


NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE

What's that sound you hear? No it's not me beating my head against the wall - it's the sound of the blender making margaritas.

As Vast and As Wide As the Desert - That's How Much I Love You

Last week when we were in Monahans , Joey had a wonderful time playing in the sand. At one point I looked out at him out in the dune field, with his violet colored sand disk bobbing behind him I realized how small he was and how vast the desert is.



All around my son was sand. As far as I could see in any direction there was sand. It made me think how much I love my children. I realized how much He loves us. Even when we are a tiny figure in the deseret. When we see nothing but sand, He is there for us and around us - surrounding us with love as vast as the desert.

And the wind came rolling down the plain

It is windy today. So windy that I think I saw the wicked witch of the west fly past my window on her bicycle.