Monday, February 19, 2007

It's the Last Day of Fun

Yep. today is Mardi Gras. Fat Tuesday. Snrove tuesday. The end of fun for the next 40 days.

It's a big purple gold and Green stop sign telling us to live today for all the fun stops tomorrow.

The good times roll tonight, but tomorrow, we fast.

Tomorrow, we pray.

Tomorrow, we sacrifice.

As a toung catholic girl. Lent was hard. It was all about deprivation. It was all about saying no to chocolate and yes to God. For many years, that was my Lenten story. I gave up chocolate and somehow, on easter Sunday morning - after Mass, in a haze caused only by my bunny's solid chocolate ears, I KNEW the goodness of God. God's love came wrapped in golden foil and was shapped like Peter Cottontail.

As an adult, I find myself questioning this. Is THIS, giving up sweets and choclates, what God and His love is all about. Sacrifice is part of showing my love for Him. But, if I look closely, it's just a small scratch in the surface of Lent.

Lent, I think, is about coming to know and accept the suffering for that Christ did for us, and making it personal for ourselves. This year, I will not be giving up chocolate or sweets. But, instead, I'll be focusing on my intrinsic need to be in control. I'll be working on my ability to "Let go and let God". I like to be in charge and I hate surprises. I like to know the answers. To not be the one in charge scares me. Surprises for me are never fun. I am aconsumate present shaker) I don't want to wait and see what's around the willow bend, I want concrete proof, with illustrations and scale models. I want answers to all my what ifs.

Sitting back and allowing God to pilot me is going to be difficult. But, with God, ALL things are possible.

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